{"id":2810,"date":"2025-08-25T09:25:50","date_gmt":"2025-08-25T09:25:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cohorts.work\/?p=2810"},"modified":"2025-08-31T10:02:08","modified_gmt":"2025-08-31T10:02:08","slug":"how-to-discover-someones-deeper-motivators-in-just-10-minutes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cohorts.work\/en\/how-to-discover-someones-deeper-motivators-in-just-10-minutes\/","title":{"rendered":"How to discover someone\u2019s deeper motivators in just 10 minutes?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Author: Kerli Rungi<\/em><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Every leader sooner or later faces the question: what really motivates my people? Salary and bonuses are just one part of the picture, but often there are deeper values and inner drivers at play. Discovering them isn\u2019t always easy \u2013 and this is where a tool called   <\/span><b>Contrasting Questions can help<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Contrasting Questions is a simple yet powerful conversational method rooted in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). The idea is to ask someone alternately  <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What would motivate you to do this?\u201d<\/span><\/i> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">and then<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u201cIf this happens, what might still make you change your mind?\u201d.<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. This back-and-forth quickly peels away the layers until you reach the person\u2019s deeper values and real reasons.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is, however, one essential condition: <\/span><b>this tool only works in a trusting environment.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. When a person feels that they are genuinely listened to and that their answers are valued, they are willing to go deeper in their responses.<\/span><\/p>\n<h6><b>When to use it?<\/b><\/h6>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you want to understand why an employee is considering a new role, project, or even leaving the company.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When organizational change is coming and you want insight into both motivators and sources of resistance.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you want a clearer picture of a person\u2019s real needs and values.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When reflecting on your own decisions and choices.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h6><b>How to use it?<\/b><\/h6>\n<ol>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Give a heads-up.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Explain that you\u2019ll be using a slightly unusual set of questions and ask for their agreement.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Start with motivation. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For example: <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWhat would motivate you to take on this new role?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Add the contrast. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ask: <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIf that happens, what would still make you change your mind?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Keep alternating.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> After 5\u20136 questions you\u2019ll start uncovering the real picture of motivation and values.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b style=\"font-style: inherit;\">Maintain trust.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Support and listen \u2013 only in a safe conversation will a person reveal their deeper drivers.<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><b>How do you know when to stop?<br \/>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The conversation has reached its natural end when the answers start repeating without adding new information, or when the person feels they\u2019ve already reached their deepest response.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>And what next?<br \/>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once the layers are uncovered, you can continue in a coaching style \u2013 picking up on some of the mentioned points and exploring them further. It can also be very valuable to ask the person what they themselves discovered about their own motivations during this conversation. <\/span><\/p>\n<h6><b>A real-life example<\/b><\/h6>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A leader wanted to understand why one of their team members was hesitant about taking on a project manager role.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Leader:<\/b> <i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWhat would motivate you to take on the project manager role?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Team member: <\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIt would give me more responsibility and growth opportunities.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Leader: <\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIf that happens, what would still make you give up that role?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Team member: <\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI\u2019m afraid it will reduce the time I have with my family.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Leader: <\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIf lack of time is a concern, what might still motivate you to take the role?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Team member: <\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIf I had certainty that I could work flexibly.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Leader: <\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cAnd if flexibility is there, what might still hold you back?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Team member: <\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cMaybe the fear that I\u2019m not good enough for the role.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Leader: <\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIf that\u2019s the concern, what might still motivate you to try?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Team member: <\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIf I knew I\u2019d get support and feedback from my manager.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Leader: <\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cAnd if you get support and feedback, what might still make you hesitate?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Team member: <\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cOnly if the project was highly technical and beyond my experience.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In this way, the leader moved quickly beyond surface answers \u2013 the real issue wasn\u2019t lack of interest but a question of confidence and the need for support.<\/span><\/p>\n<h6><b>Why does it work?<\/b><\/h6>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In regular conversations, we often only hear the first, surface-level answer. Contrasting Questions, however, help you dig deeper and reach the values that influence decisions most strongly \u2013 whether it\u2019s meaningful work, growth opportunities, work-life balance, or the need for belonging. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<hr>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you want to try this method in your team or use it for self-analysis, our good partner, <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/casehub.pro\"><b><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">CaseHub<\/span><\/b><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">  has put together a compact, helpful guide. You can download it <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/drive.google.com\/file\/d\/1p-7pmKTOto1N0QtN7CcRhBnj9Xg84F36\/view?usp=sharing\">HERE<\/a><\/strong><\/span> and feel free to share it with your team. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">CaseHub is a collaborative leadership development hub. It brings together leaders with varied experiences to tackle real-world problems, learn from each other and strengthen their people understanding. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you would like to find out more about this or any other management tool or equipment, please contact. <\/span><a href=\"mailto:kerli@cohorts.work\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">kerli@cohorts.work<\/span><\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> for more information. <\/span> <\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Author: Kerli Rungi Every leader sooner or later faces the question: what really motivates my people? Salary and bonuses are just one part of the picture, but often there are deeper values and inner drivers at play. Discovering them isn\u2019t always easy \u2013 and this is where a tool called Contrasting Questions can help. Contrasting [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2812,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2810","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-juhtimine-en"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to discover someone\u2019s deeper motivators in just 10 minutes? - Cohorts<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cohorts.work\/en\/how-to-discover-someones-deeper-motivators-in-just-10-minutes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to discover someone\u2019s deeper motivators in just 10 minutes? - Cohorts\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Author: Kerli Rungi Every leader sooner or later faces the question: what really motivates my people? 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Salary and bonuses are just one part of the picture, but often there are deeper values and inner drivers at play. Discovering them isn\u2019t always easy \u2013 and this is where a tool called Contrasting Questions can help. 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